"We Killed the Doctor Dead!" is a song from the 2013 audio story Doctor Who: The Scorchies. It features the Scorchies celebrating the apparent death of the Third Doctor.
The song was performed by Melvyn Hayes and Katy Manning.
Lyrics[]
We killed him dead,
Oh yes, stone dead.
Yes, we killed that pesky Doctor dead.
So let's all shout:
"We took 'im out!".
'Cause we killed that bloomin' Doctor dead.
You can't ignore,
That he's no more,
We wouldn't want to see you, Jo, misled.
We'll be succinct,
The Doc's extinct.
Yes, we killed that no-good Doctor dead.
Yes, the Ogrons tried it,
But the Doc denied it.
They were far too stupid to win.
Dæmons want to kill the Doctor,
Destroy his helicopter.
But he was their banana skin.
Ice Lords tried to make it colder,
That just made the Doctor bolder.
And they failed where we succeed!
And now we have achieved it,
And now the Doc's received it,
It has been decreed
That:
That big Boy Scout,
We rubbed him out.
We achieved it one hundred percent!
Oh he's deceased,
So rest in peace.
Yes, we know the vexing Doctor's spent.
His story's junked.
His time defunct.
We've eaten up the Time Lord for dessert.
It seems a shame,
But now he's slain.
It's time to wash the Doctor's frilly shirt.
So here we are,
It sounds bizarre.
You'll forgive us if we like a bit to crow.
'Cause now you see,
It's thee and me.
But who is gonna save you all now, Jo?
So you enquired,
"Has he expired?"
I think we'd like to offer you brown bread.
Because you know,
He had to go.
Yes, we know the Daleks couldn't,
Oh no, the Master wouldn't,
Even the blasted Gell guards didn't.
Yes, we know we killed the Doctor dead!
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