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"Slender Man vs. Unwanted House Guest" is a rap battle from the animated Internet series Animeme Rap Battles. It features a duel between the Creepypasta character Slender Man and the Unwanted House Guest meme.
The song was performed by Slender Man's voice actor RedMinus and the Unwanted House Guest's voice actor Brock Baker.
Haven't seen me in a while? I've seen you just fine.
You took 5,028 breaths in your sleep last night.
Where am I?
Look out the window, see that parked black van?
Well I look out my window, and see you Slender Man.
Just surrender, damn,
When people see you they hide,
when people see me, they die.
You've got no eyes,
and no help from the moonlight.
Lights off, game on,
Grab your leg, om nom nom,
This ain't fiction, no pretend,
In the end, you'll be dead.
Not afraid of the dark? I like a challenge.
But watch your step, you might trip over your parents!
Don't you dare get blood on my Armani suit,
Killing is my motherf*cking hobby dude!
You've got no chance, better start surrendering.
So let's dance. Everyday I'm slendering.
I'll run circles around you,
tie you up and bound you, In the lake I'll drown you!
Your face looks like sh*t, manure,
I've got more facial expression than Kristen Stewart!
You've got dying teeth, oh the irony, without a face,
I still look better than you, see?
No wonder nobody wants you,
you look like a more cracked out version of Gary Busey!
You do look better...
in the back freezer of my kitchen.
Kill you that easy?
Well aren't we optimistic?
Feel a breeze tickle your ear? No, that's just me whisperin',
Are there mosquitos out here? Nah, that's just me nibblin'.
What'll I do?
Pull a trap door.
Then I'll rip your spine out and,
Make you a wacky inflatable tube man!
You're working for me now, and we're having some layoffs.
So I'll set your tentacles ablaze, boss.
Someone please pass the Hollandaise sauce,
'Cause I'll be having calamari for days, y'all.
Knock knock, I'm there! To send you packing,
Wait for it... release the Kraken!
Now I'll shove these cufflinks in your eyes,
Gag you with my cumber bun so nobody will hear your cries.
[Break to eat McDonald's fries]
Then I'll whip your back, with my Kenneth Cole slacks,
Use my gucci shoes to swat your ass,
Like a spider, you know,
the ones you swallow in your sleep.
Guess who puts them there?
I know just how to end this song,
I'll teleport to before you spawned,
And kill the artist that drew you,
so you were never ever drawn.
- The song was released as a single.
- An instrumental version was included in the album Instrumentals / Beats.
Animeme Rap Battles