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"RvB Throwdown" is a song from the twentieth episode of the same name from Red vs. Blue Season 14. It starts off as a rap battle between Church and Sarge only to later have both Felix and Locus jump in and claim their superiority over both teams.

The song was performed by the characters' voice actors: Matt Hullum as Sarge, Burnie Burns as Church, Gray G. Haddock as Locus and Miles Luna as Felix.


It's the fight of the ages, Red Vs. Blue
Or it would be if anybody cared about you
By the end of this battle you'll finally see
Leader of a real team ain't as easy as it seems to be

You're trying to mold three wimps into men
I run the suit of the biggest badass there's ever been
Your shotgun's primed for a war you've been storming up
But back away my laser face has started warming up

Hate the people on your team you can barely control them
Got your ass kicked by freelancers Sarge, while I owned them
The Director a machine, you're a cadencing schmuck
Can't rap against a ghost, so BOO you motherf*ck

My story's what fans and critics adore
I'll sum up yours in one word "snore"
This is all getting real, b*tch, this isn't a game
All they call you is Sarge, that's not even a name

Your rap is finally over the fat lady said
I'll kick your ass three times with a left, right, left
Sarge isn't a name, it's superiority
Unlike yours my team respects enough to bury dead me

You got rhymes more fruity than a strawberry Yoo-Hoo
I'll rip you so hard your whole team will go "Blue hoo"
You say you're a leader, oh man that's a riot
This sergeant's loading up to kick you straight in the privates

Red wins, Blue sucks, that's how it's always ended
Wipe this scum from the earth, as God intended
So death to the Blues on that beautiful day
Rotting up like roadkill on a lonely highway


And one day we'll stand around a tattered Blue flag
Stepping on the necks of you broken battered dirtbags
Nothing you can say can stand up to me
So drop, bluetard, and give me infinity

That's cute, look at you, you're thinking you're still relevant
After Reconstruction hit you're completely insignificant
You're an old has-been who's still trying to prove
He's just as good as he was back in 1952

God damn, I really died for this war?
You're the only one caring about this motherf*cking score
If I actually tried, you'd be down in one go
Also Brown-nose, Rust Boat, Wide Load and Delano

Red sucks, deal with it, and let me just remind you that
It's because of me RvB went past season three
You stepped up to a game you can't play
Church is in session so maybe you should stop and pray

Your days are numbered you scruffy nerf herder
I've got a brain full of beats and a boner for murder
A case of blue like yours calls for proper medication
Got a shotgun full of pills for your insubordination

Glory to the Red Team and extra glory to me
I need a proper victory, so who's in charge of confetti?
You're an old computer program with a virus maybe
I'll wipe your hard drive clean with the treads on my Chupababy

We're just better, that's not gonna change
So take a step closer into face stabbing range
Your fall's a matter of "when", not a matter of "if"
My second shell is for you, I'm saving the first for Grif


Oh put away the threats and the knuckle cracks

I told you to stay out of this

Dude, just relax
These guys wanna fight, and hey, we're supporting it
But now we're chiming in on the rhyme

How unfortunate

See we're just better in every way
What you've done in your life, I've done in a day

We're perfectly crafted, cunning killing machines

The two baddest of the mercenary space marines
I'm a supreme know-it-all when it comes to a knife
Close range combat's how I live my life
Then couple me up with an invisible dread

By the time you see me you're already dead

How'd you both get teams following your command

When you can count your IQ on a single hand

I can't believe this fake battle's caused this much fuss
Cause the way I see it

You're just practice for us

Calling Epsilon, the Alpha, and the Director online
RvB is just the tale that my life story designed
When I powered Tucker's suit my tale came to an end
I know that's hard to explain to a dude with no friends!

Friends don't make you smile in this battle-scarred Hell
What made me smile was watching you dissolve yourself
But you did your damned best, so don't take it too hard
But it's time to suck it Blue, you just got Sarged.


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