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"Queen of Hearts vs. Wicked Witch"is a rap battle from the internet series Princess Rap Battle created by internet music artist Whitney Avalon. It features a duel between the Wicked Witch of the West from The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland.
It was performed by Whitney Avalon as the Wicked Witch, Alyssa Preston as the Queen of Hearts, Ben Giroux as the King of Hearts and a small intervention of Emily Kinney as Alice, Ryan McCartan as the Mad Hatter and Jason Rogel & Reggie De Leon as Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
Begone Adele Dazeem, I’m a head-taking machine
Chop so many necks, call me the Guillotine Queen
I’ll make you walk the green mile and roast ya, Salem-style
Here’s the lesson: court’s in session and I do love a trial
Get this straight, the heart wants what it wants
I’m not a dunce and unlike you I do my own stunts
You might be okay at croquet but you’ll fall just the same
‘Cause I’m a master with a mallet and I’ve never lost a game
You’re too concerned with shoes to stop a homesick chick?
This toothpick on a broomstick can’t handle the thicc
All ways are my ways, so I make the laws
With a verdict and my boot I’ll kick your narrow ass to Oz
I’m the witch-of-the witch-of-the witch-of-the witch-of-the west, ha!
You wish you could be like me but bish I’m the best, ha!
‘Cause I’m the meanest, the keenest, gonna upset the queenest
Brighter than the Emerald City because I’m certainly the greenest
They tried to keep me down but instead I have arisen
I overthrew the land and transformed Oz into a prison
The wizard was a con man so weaklings gave him loyalty
But I can fly, so I defy both gravity and royalty
A woman with real power not a windbag liar dickhead
Now Oz and Broadway recognize the one who’s truly wicked
Ya got your own itty bitty pity committee
You can run, you can hide, but I’ll get you my pretty
Yeah I got a little mister. But what happened to her sister?
Right, she became a basement in the midst of a twister
I’m a slayer and a player, momma heart gets paid
Wearing diamonds in the club while your monkeys get spayed
This punk-ass needs a punchin’, you’re more sloppy than a luncheon
With a bunch of f*cking Munchkins who are too damn drunk to function
We’re the original dreamland, you imposters can suck it, ‘cause
Wonderland ain’t nuthin’ to f*ck with
Wonderland ain’t nuthin’ to f*ck with
This battle was a slaughter, Elphie’s melting cause I’m hotter
This hag is hashtag thirsty. Here, have a cup of water!
In a second they’ll be singing “ding dong, the witch is dead”
By order of the Queen off with your head!
This brat’s got a temper, now she’s folding under pressure
‘Cause she’s screaming bloody murder while I’m smiling like a Cheshire
You’re losing the beat, you might need a pacemaker
Don’t you mess around with me, ‘cause I'm a heartbreaker
I’ve got the powers and the flowers to KO your whole team
I got them pop pop poppies, night night have a nice dream
You think this is a game? Tell these cards I ain’t playin’
Cut the deck like it’s a check and wreck this trumped-up queen I’m slayin’
You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry, I’ll make a motherf*cking scene
Like the hulk without the bulk, it ain’t easy being green
Like the roses that you keep what you sow is what you reap
I’m the doom on a broom and this has been a clean sweep
- The song was released as a single.