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"Napoleon vs Napoleon" is a rap battle produced as a part of Epic Rap Battles of History. It features the real-life tyrant Napoleon Bonaparte against Napoleon Dynamite from the 2004 film of the same name.

Dynamite was played by series co-creator Peter "Nice Peter" Shukoff, and Bonaparte was played by series co-creator Lloyd "EpicLLOYD" Ahlquist.


[Epic Rap Battles of History!


Gosh! I can't believe how much of a little bitch you are!
When it comes to world leaders, you, like, literally lowered the bar!
I'll rip your bones apart, Bonaparte! Turn your horse into glue!
Welcome to the battle of Waterloo, part two!
I got skills! I'll put you in a half Horatio Nelson!
You're the ugliest thing that's ever failed in Russia since Boris Yeltsin!
You can keep your French fries; I got tater tots, you gnome!
Why don't you crawl back in your little shell and escargot the heck home?

How dare you address moi, you adolescent worm?
I am French! You are a buck tooth nerd with a perm!
I spit at you harder than Tina the Llama,
Smacking your face till your lips swell up like Lafawnduh's!
Doodle up some friends, you gangly freak show,
Before I toss you over the mountain like the dreams of Uncle Rico!
This bastard's about to see how bad a battle can be.
After this, your buddy Pedro will be voting for me!

Why don't you freaking exile yourself on your little island and hide?
'Cause this is a rap rollercoaster. You're not even tall enough to ride!
I don't even care how many, like, stupid Prussians you've killed,
'Cause to me, you're just the emperor of the lollipop guild!

Sacrebleu! {God damn it!}
T'as une tête à faire sauter les plaques d'égouts! {You have a head that can blow off manhole covers!}
I'm going to shove your moon boots straight up your poop shoot!
I'll whip you so bad, they'll make a virgin meringue!
You're the only type of dynamite that's never going to bang!

[Who won? Who's next? You decide!]

Rap Battles of History!

Other Appearances

  • The song was released as a single and on the album Season 1.
  • An instrumental version was also released as a single.




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