"Medics Don't Heal Scouts" is a fan song for the video game Team Fortress 2. It features the Medic and a Scout as the Scout wants healing, but the Medic does not waste his time. The end of the video reveals that the Scout was actually a Spy all along.
The song was performed by Peter Srinivasan as the Medic, (the role of the Medic in the video was performed by the song's lyricist, AJ Pinkerton), Dodger as the Scout. The video includes Xander Mobus as the Spy.
Hey Medic! Don't go!
Please, my health bar's pretty low!
Look, the Heavy needs my help!
I'm a busy man, you know!
Come on, show me some compassion!
Forget the status quo!
Sorry, Medics… don't heal Scouts!
[Hey, c’mon, Doc, I’m dying’ here!]
Wait, Doc, I'm in pain!
Any moment, I'll be slain!
There's a bullet in my chest-
And a screw loose in your brain…
Oh, the lights are fading quickly...
This is only just a sprain.
That's why Medics… don't heal Scouts!
[Uh, I also got stabbed in the ankle-]
[Go find a Health Kit!]
I'm begging on my knees here
Cause it hurts too much to stand!
I'm the fastest friggin' member of your team!
You're also pretty puny, with the IQ of a crayon
And you have the most unhealthy self esteem!
[Uh, not true! I think I'm awesome!]
Doc, give me one chance!
Yes, I know your friggin' stance!
But my heart's starting to fail me, and I think I crapped my pants...
You can stitch me, saw me, sew me-
Give me friggin' dove implants-
[Yes, but just this once, though, because-]
Medics… don't heal Scouts!
- The song was featured on the album Random Encounters: Season 5.
- The song may be a prequel to Medic! - A Team Fortress 2 Musical, as that song references the Medic being attacked by a Spy, which happens in the video for the song.