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"Maison Des Lunes" is a song exclusive to the musical stage adaptation of Disney's Beauty and the Beast. It features Gaston, LeFou, and Monsieur D'Arque as they plot to throw Belle's father Maurice in the insane asylum to blackmail her into marrying Gaston.

The song was performed by Gaston's actor Burke Moses, LeFou's actor Kenny Raskin, and D'Arque's actor Gordon Stanley.

Lyrics

There's a danger I'll be thwarted
And denied my honeymoon
For the pretty thing I've courted
Refuses to swoon

So, the time has come for a murky plan
For which I turn to a murky man
To find that fiend
Where better than
The Maison des Lunes?

I don't take this girl for granted
There's no path I haven't hewn
To her heart; no seed unplanted
No flowers unstrewn

But quite amazing to relate
She doesn't want me for her mate
Which forces him to contemplate
The Maison des Lunes

I don't wish to seem a tad obtuse
But I don't see how I can be of use
For I lock people up; I'm not a "Lonely Heart's club"
I'm a cold, cold fish
I've a nasty, vicious streak
Please speak!

It's Belle's father who's your client
She adores the old buffoon
She'll be forced to be complaint
She'll dance to your tune
We get the daughter through her dad
You just pronounce the old boy mad
And, whoosh! He's slammed up in your pad--
The Maison des Lunes

Do I make myself entirely clear?
It's the simplest deal of my whole foul career!

Put Maurice away and she'll be here in moments
In a dreadful state
She'll capitulate to me!

I'll be strapping up an inmate
Very tightly
Very soon
But please don't bring him late
Our check-in time's noon!

So, wave one bachelor goodbye
She'll be my bride
She'd rather die...
Than have her daddy ossify
In my sordid saloon

So book the church; raise the glasses high
To the Maison des Lunes!

When a man like me is thwarted And denied his honeymoon

When the pretty thing he's courted Refuses to swoon

Then the time has come for a murky plan

For which he turns to a murky man

To find that fiend where better than At the Maison des Lunes?

You'll be strapping up an inmate Very tightly Very soon But we won't bring him in late Your check-in time's noon

How sad Maurice is not too well Prepare a five-star padded cell! And book him in for a long, long spell At the Maison des Lunes

Do I make myself entirely clear? It's the simplest deal of your whole foul career Put Maurice away and she'll be here in moments In a dreadful state She'll capitulate to me

Oh! Oh! Oh, I love incarceration I could lock up a platoon We'll apply your inclination To a mad old buffon

Then wave one bachelor goodbye She'll be my bride She'd rather die... Than have her daddy ossify

The time's opportune

So book the church, raise glasses high To the Maison des Lunes! </poem>

Other Appearances

  • The song was featured in the Broadway production of the musical with slightly altered lyrics.
  • The song was featured on the Broadway musical's soundtrack.

Gallery

Images

Videos

Official

Covers

           DisneyNavbox Songs

Disney Animated Flims
Hi-Diddle-Dee-DeeI've Got No StringsHi-Diddle-Dee-Dee (Reprise)The Coach to Pleasure IslandNight on Bald MountainHit the Big Boss (For a Raise)Pink Elephants on ParadeMan ReturnsFee-Fi-Fo-FumHeadless HorsemanSing, Sweet NightingaleThe Walrus and the Carpenter'Twas BrilligPainting the Roses RedMarch of the CardsWho's Been Painting My Roses Red?A Pirate's Life (Is a Wonderful Life)A Pirate's Life (Reprise)The Elegant Captain HookThe Siamese Cat SongCruella De VilMad Madam MimI Wanna Be Like YouTrust in MeThe Phony King of EnglandHeffalumps and WoozlesA Huntin' ManThe World's Greatest Criminal MindGoodbye, So SoonPoor Unfortunate SoulsLes PoissonsPoor Unfortunate Souls (Reprise)Home on the RangeBelleGastonGaston (Reprise)The Mob SongPrince Ali (Reprise)Be PreparedStampedeThe Virginia CompanyThe Virginia Company (Reprise)Mine, Mine, MineSavages, Pt. 1Savages, Pt. 2The Bells of Notre DameOut ThereHellfireParis BurningAnd He Shall Smite the WickedThe Gospel Truth IIPerfect WorldThe Firebird SuiteYodel-Adle-Eedle-Idle-OoFriends on the Other SideFriends on the Other Side (Reprise)Healing IncantationMother Knows BestMother Knows Best (Reprise)The Backson SongMarch of the OreoLove is an Open DoorWolvesShinyKnow Who You Are

Pixar Films
Song of Mor'duRemember MeMuch Needed AdviceLa LloronaMidnight, The Stars And You

Animated Sequels
I'm Looking Out for MeForget About LoveYou're Only Second RateWelcome to the Forty ThievesAre You In or Out?Don't Fall in LoveThings Are Not What They AppearMy LullabyNot One of UsJunkyard Society RagPerfectly PerfectFeel Like a MillionJust One Mistake

Other Animated Films
Everybody's Got A Laughin' PlaceIt's a "B" MovieCutting EdgeWorthlessKidnap the Sandy ClawsOogie Boogie's SongI, Ivan KrankPetey's King of FranceChains of LoveIt's Our House NowIf I Ruled the WorldSidekicks and Henchmen

Live Action Films
We Won't Be Happy 'Till We Get It!Castle In SpainFidelity Fiduciary BankThe Happiest Home in These HillsPassamaquoddyEvery Little PieceBill of SaleSecret of SurvivalBravo, Stromboli!ScroogeMarley and MarleyCome Little ChildrenI Put a Spell on YouShiver My TimbersA Professional PirateLittle GirlsEasy StreetLittle Girls (Reprise)The KrakenDavy JonesFabulousNorth Pole, North PoleHello, Little GirlStay with MeAgonyLast MidnightMy Jolly Sailor BoldMermaidsRainbow Connection (Moopets Version)Let's Talk About MeI'm Number OneI'll Get You What You Want (Cockatoo in Malibu)Rotten to the CoreEvil Like MeEvilWays to Be WickedWhat's My Name?Chillin' Like a VillainIt's Goin' DownWhat a Shame

Animated Series & Shorts
The Skeleton DanceWho's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?Der Fuehrer's FaceThe Best of EverythingFat Cat StompThe Lobster Mobster's MobThe Beddy Bye BluesYou Wouldn't Want to Mess With Me (Part 1)You Wouldn't Want to Mess With Me (Part 2)Evil LullabyMy TownOne Good ManYzmopolisBoom-Da-BoomCedric the GreatAll You DesireHelping HandA Kingdom of My OwnThis Fliegel Has LandedWendell's WayMy Evil DreamsMy Power Will Be Crystal ClearGet WickedOn Your/My OwnTonight We StrikeJackal StyleOutta the WayPanic and RunLions Over AllWe'll Make You a MealBring Back a LegendI Have A PlanBig Bad KengeWe're the SmartestLet Me Make You ProudLet Me Make You Proud (Reprise)] • Ready As I'll Ever BeI'm Gonna Run This DumpLi'l Ol' MeWeirdmageddon ThemeWe'll Meet AgainYou Can't Catch MeDon't Look NowThe Art of the StealWe've Got Dance PowerSky PiratesDecay IncantationWaiting in the WingsCrossing The LineWaiting in the Wings (Reprise)Nothing Left to LoseGoblin Jail"GlomTales" Theme SongI'm Not Very Nice

Deleted Songs
Rolling Along to Pleasure IslandI'm OddBeware the JabberwockNever Smile at a CrocodileThe Pirate SongEvil - EvilThe Mighty HuntersHow Much You Mean to Me/Court Me SlowlySilence is GoldenAll Good Things Must EndArabian Nights (Reprise 1)Arabian Nights (Reprise 2)Why Me?Humiliate the BoyMy Finest HourBe Prepared (Reprise)Snuff Out the LightPerfect World (Yzma)Gonna Get My WishYou're YouIt's Gonna Get Weird

Theatrical Songs
Another PyramidLike Father Like SonMeMaison Des LunesChow DownThe Madness of King ScarIt's Never Too LateI Want the Good Times BackSweet ChildLes Poissons (Reprise)I Want the Good Times Back (Reprise)Sweet Child (Reprise)Sweet Child (Reprise)Diamond in the RoughFlower of GoldThe Bottom LineThe Bottom Line (Reprise)Hans of the Southern IslesHans of the Southern Isles (Reprise)


Videogames
I Love FurPuppies, Oh, PuppiesThe Rat TangoRunVillains of a SortOne-Winged AngelDr. Finkelstein's SongHail to Mr. OogieCasino ClashA Filthy FinaleOrganization XIIIUrsula's RevengeIt's a Small WorldOpeningThe Mad Doctor Isn't MadI'm Falling ApartThe Fall of PrescottThe Mad Doctor's PlanMad Doctor's Wonderful World of Evil

Promotional Songs
Honest JohnMonstro the WhaleThe Legend of Davy JonesShadow ManDo What I Wanna DoLove is a Magical Mystery

Parks
Hawaiian War ChantYo Ho (A Pirate's Life for Me)Grim Grinning GhostsFriend Like IagoUh-Oa's SongGuardians of the Galaxy Monsters After Dark

           Beauty and the Beast Navbox Songs

Films
BelleGastonGaston (Reprise)The Mob SongDon't Fall in Love

Musical
MeGastonGaston (Reprise)Maison Des LunesThe Mob Song

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