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"Le Pudding à l'Arsenic" ("The Arsenic Cake" in English), also known as "Le Gâteau Empoisonné" ("The Poisoned Cake" in English), it's a song from the 1968 Belgian/French animated film Asterix and Cleopatra. It features Artifis and his henchman Tournevis preparing a poisoned cake and send it to Cleopatra as being made by the Gauls in order to frame them so they would not be able to help Edifis to build the temple in time.

It was originally performed by Bernard Lavalette as Artifis and Jacques Balutin as Tournevis.

Lyrics

Dans un grand bol de strychnine
Délayez de la morphine
Faites tiédir à la casserole
Un bon verre de pétrole
[Oh, je vais en mettre deux!]

Quelques gouttes de ciguë
De la bave de sangsue
Un scorpion coupé très fin
Et un peu de poivre en grains
[Non!]
[Ah! Bon]

Émiettez votre arsenic
Dans un verre de narcotique
Deux cuillères de purgatif
Qu'on fait bouillir à feu vif
[Oh, je vais en mettre trois]

Dans un petit plat à part
Tiédir du sang de lézard
La valeur d'un dé à coudre
Et un peu de sucre en poudre
[Non!]
[Ah! Bon]

Vous versez la mort aux rats
Dans du venin de cobra
Pour adoucir le mélange
Pressez trois quartiers d'orange
[Oh, je vais en mettre un seul]

Décorez de fruits confits
Moisis dans du vert de gris
Tant que votre pâte est molle
Et un peu de vitriol
[Non! Oui!]
[Ah, je savais bien que ça serait bon]

Le pudding à l'arsenic
Nous permet ce pronostic
Demain sur les bords du Nil
Que mangeront les crocodiles?

Des
Gau
lois!

Ba be doo de do wa wa!
[Yeah!]

Take a big bowl of strychnine.
Cream with hemlock till its green.
Take a glass of paraffin.
Warm it up and tip it in.
[No I’ll put in two for luck.]

Add a spot of opium
Marinate a leach in scum.
Sprinkle with some chopped frog’s spawn.
Now we add a peppercorn.
[No!]
[Ah! Oh well.]

Crumble up your arsenic
in a glass of narcotic.
Add two spoons of castor oil.
Put them on the stove to boil.
[No I’ll put in three for luck]

Put some snake’s blood in a bowl.
Then stir in a crushed tadpole.
Add a thimble full of glue.
Add a spot of sugar, too.
[No!]
[No? Oh well]

Add rat poison to the brew.
Cobra’s venom goes in too.
Sweeten it with orange juice.
Three segments is what you use.
[No I think just one will do]

Thicken all with mandrake root.
Decorate with moldy fruit.
Just before the funeral.
Add a spot of vitriol.
[No! Oh yes!]
[Haha. I know it’ll be a good idea!]

Special iced arsenic cake
means that we can safely take
seats beside the river Nile
to see the sacred crocodile

Eat
The
Gauls!

Ba be doo de do wa wa!
[Yeah!]

Other Appearances

  • The song was featured in the movie's soundtrack album and also in the compilation album Astérix au Cinéma (Asterix on Film).

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