Don't you disrespect me, little man!
Don't you derogate or deride!
You're in my world now, not your world
And I got friends on the other side!
He's got friends on the other side...
[That's an echo, gentlemen. Just a little something we have here in Louisiana, a little parlor trick. Don't worry.]
Sit down at my table
Put your minds at ease
If you relax it'll enable me to do
Anything I please
I can read your future
I can change it 'round some, too
I'll look deep into your heart and soul
(You do have a soul, don't you, Lawrence?)
Make your wildest dreams come true!
I got voodoo, I got hoodoo,
I got things I ain't even tried!
And I got friends on the other side!
He's got friends on the other side!
The cards, the cards, the cards will tell
The past, the present, and the future as well!
The cards, the cards, just take three
Take a little trip into your future with me!
Now you, young man, are from across the sea
You come from two long lines of royalty
(I'm a royal myself, on my mother's side.)
Your lifestyle's high, but your funds are low
You need to marry a lil' hunny whose daddy got dough!
Mom and dad cut you off, huh playboy?
Now y'all gotta get hitched, but hitchin' ties you down. You just wanna be free, hop from place to place. But freedom takes green!
It's the green, it's the green, it's the green you need
And when I looked into your future
It's the green that I see!
On you little man, I don't want to waste much time
You've been pushed around all your life
You've been pushed around by your mother and your sister and your brother.
And if you was married
You'd be pushed around by your wife
But in your future, for you I see
Is exactly the man you always wanted to be!
[Shake my hand. Come on, boys. Won't you shake a poor sinner's hand?
Yes...]
Are you ready?
(Are you ready?)
Are you ready?
Transformation central!
(Transformation central!)
Reformation central!
(Reformation central!)
Transmogrification central!
Can you feel it?
You're changin', you're changin', you're changin', all right!
I hope you're satisfied
But if you ain't, don't blame me!
You can blame my friends on the other side!
(Ooo...)
(Ha ha ha!)
You got what you wanted
But you lost what you had!
Ohh...
Hush!...
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