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"Dentist!" is a song from the horror-comedy musical Little Shop of Horrors and its 1986 film adaptation. It features Orin Scrivello explaining why he chose his career as a dentist.

Performers

Character Original Off-Broadway Original West End Film Broadway 2007 West End Revival 2009 UK Tour Encores! 2016 Australian Tour 2016 UK Tour 2018 London Revival 2019 Off-Broadway Revival 2019 Pasadena Playhouse
Orin Scrivello Franc Luz Alistair McGowan Steve Martin Douglas Sills Alistair McGowan Alex Ferns Taran Killam Scott Johnson Rhydian Roberts Matt Willis Christian Borle Matthew Wilkas

All versions are accompanied by a female chorus.

Lyrics

When I was young and just a bad little kid
My momma noticed funny things I did
Like shootin' puppies with a BB gun
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done
I'd find a pussy cat and bash its head
That's when my momma said

What did she say?

She said "My boy, I think someday
You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay"

You'll be a dentist
(Be a dentist)
You have a talent for causing things pain
(Pain)
Son, be a dentist
(Son, be a dentist)
People will pay you to be inhumane
(Humane)

Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less
Son, be a dentist you'll be a success

Here he is folks, the leader of the plaque
Watch him suck up that gas, oh my God
He is a dentist and he'll never ever be any good

Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis De Sade?
Oh, that hurts, wait, I'm not numb
Ehh, shut up, open wide, here I come

I am your dentist
([Incomprehensible])
And I enjoy the career that I picked
(Love it)
I am your dentist
(That's what you're best at)
And I get off on the pain I inflict
(Really love it)

I thrill when I drill a bicuspid
(Bicuspid)
It swells though they tell me I'm maladjusted
(Dentist)
And though it may 'cause my patient's distress
(Distress)

Somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me
I know, I know that my momma's proud of me
Oh, momma
'Cause I'm a dentist and a success

Say aah
(Ahh)
Say aah
(Ahh)
Say ahh
(Ahh)
Now spit

Other Appearances

  • The film version is featured on the album Little Shop of Horrors (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack).
  • The Broadway version of the song appears on the Broadway Cast Recording.

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